Childood Friend Review Form

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Dear Madam,

As you are aware, the role of a childhood friend is a very important one in society.  As your neighbor has no parents / one parent who is working out of the country it is very important that you fulfill your duties.  It has come to our attention that your performance in one of these key areas has begun to deteriorate.  Please seek to take proactive measures to ameliorate this situation before the next review period.  Find below a list of area(s) where improvement has been deemed necessary:

___ Waking up in the morning; it is your sole responsibility to wake bearer of this document up every morning in time for school / work.
___  Breakfast making duties
___  Lunch making duties
___  Dinner making duties
___  Not changing with the blinds open for an “accidental” glimpse
___  Cold duties: you are required to prepare rice porridge, get cold towels for the forehead, and lecture about how important it is to take care of a cold.
___  Having a lot of cute friends that could easily fall in love with your childhood friend

Thanks In Advance For Your Cooperation