Jeffalopolis.com

Sheryl Nome

Fair Warning: This is one of the rare Serious Posts

The one thing that I’ve been noticing a lot of lately is people who run around saying that they can’t do this, or that….they’ve tried hard to quit smoking, quit drinking, quit overeating, but they just aren’t able to do it.  The interesting thing is these people always act like it’s the cigarettes, the bottle, the hamburger that are at fault; they always seem to leave themselves out of the equation.  It would be easier and more honest to simply say “I tried to defeat myself and I failed.”  I think at the point where you go into battle with yourself and you lose is the point where you should just give up trying to achieve anything in life.  I guess these are the same people that want someone else to be responsible for everything in their lives as they are obviously incapable of handling them.  Continue reading →

Modern and Warfare!

One of the top grossing games in history is Modern Warfare 2, a game which allows you to not only play single player missions (a fact almost nobody is aware of) and coop missions locally, but without a doubt the largest use for this game is online multiplayer.  The sad thing is that there is no instruction guide for new players looking to get into this online action.  Luckily, as usual, I am here to correct that problem and make your lives better in general by showing you how to best play this game online.

• The most important thing is to pick an online screenname that tells everyone how extremely awesome and tough you are.  Your name should contain either a reference to blood, money, shooting someone, or some form of explosive device.  The best name for beginners would be something like BLOODMONEYHEADSHOTNITRO.  A lot of people won’t know that you’re extremely cool unless you mix the case of your name so that it’s something like blOODmOnEyHEadshOTniTRO.
• It’s important to add a clan tag in front of your name whether you’re in a clan, or not.  Most clans online consist of one or two people anyway, so it doesn’t really matter if you’re the only person with that clan tag.  Clan tag naming is pretty strict in that it must reference either female genetalia or homosexuality.
• The media often tries to portray FPS like Modern Warfare 2 as the root of violent behavior, whch is untrue as you’ll find the online community to be quite caring of each other’s health.  More often than not you will be playing with someone who has the microphone gently inserted into one of their nostrils so that everyone playing with them can closely monitor their breathing.  Many other people like to let you know what their home life is like by talking to their mom or telling their little brother to shut the hell up.  These things can be viewed as annoying only by the most heartless of players, so if anyone ever says anything about your nostril mic, greet them in the warm MW2 way by calling them female genitalia or a homosexual.
• Most of the games that you will play are team warfare, where you and several other people you have never met work together to accomplish the objective of beating the enemy.  As you play a few games you will see that most people attempt to accomplish this objective by picking a sniper class and sitting in one spot for the entire match while never managing a kill.  This balances things out quite well as most of the members of the other team are doing the same thing.