Protection!
You get home from school, throw your backpack down, then turn on the TV and watch some of the finest animation the day has to offer and everything is great. Then, a few years later, you look back on some of those shows and find yourself going *what the hell?*
For instance. Thundercats: as their home planet is blowing up and they’re all boarding the escape ship, Jaga tells them all that the planet they’re heading to is different than the one that they’re used to, so their clothing will need to offer them more protection. Thus, he proceeds to hand Cheetara a leotard, Lion-O a onesie, and Panthro gets some of Jaga’s handmade fantasy S&M gear, comprised of a bikini with spiked leather suspenders. Now, while I don’t fancy myself to be a fashion designer, the mere fact that I’m on the internet means that I have to loudly voice my opinion about everything to anyone who will listen; also I’m fairly sure that Hanes briefs and leather suspenders don’t really amount to that much protection against the elements. Not often do you see mothers on the beach saying *oh, Johnny, if you don’t put on your spiked suspenders you’ll get a burn.”
Yo!
And while GI Joe told us at the end of every episode that knowing was half the battle, the rest of the time they spent reminding us constantly that the other half of the battle was training. How? No one in the history of GI Joe ever hit anything with a laser. Sure, they could shoot down a Trouble-Bubble while the pilot parachuted safely out, but they never hit a single person. Also GI Joe is one of the very few military organizations that lets you wear whatever the hell you want. Scarlett is wearing Cheetara’s leotard (infer what you want from that) and you have a random ninja, a guy who dresses in a wetsuit all the time, and a sailor who dresses like he escaped from the village people and talks like Jack Nicholson.
Floozy?
While the cheerful singing of the same song over and over might lull some people into thinking the Smurfs are just a cute and innocent bunch of blue things trying to go about life in their village, I know perfectly well that the song was a demented chant to Dear Leader (aka Papa Smurf.) The Smurfs are either a collection of communists with every person in the village having their own specific task that benefits the greater good (and things only go wrong when someone doesn’t do their job,) or they’re living under the brutal dictatorship of Papa Smurf. You have a Smurf dedicated to cooking, one who has to fix everything, a farmer, and so on…yet no one ever stopped to think of what Smurfette’s job might be. So far as I ever saw all she did was water flowers and cry. I also find it more than a little disturbing that Papa Smurf implied on multiple occasions that he wanted to date Smurfette. She calls you PAPA Smurf you sick-o. Also, never search google images for a picture of Smurfette with safe search off; it’s too weird.
