Having spectacularly escaped from their home planet in a series of events so fantastic that we’re going to skip right over them, we resume the story as Luke Skywalker and his sister Hermione Grainger have crash landed on the planet Bella…
“Luke, I’m scared,” Hermione said overactingly as several forms began to come towards their crashed ship through the misty fog.
“Don’t worry, Hermione, I’ll protect you!”, Luke said, his voice betraying the doubt he felt.
One of the figures emerged into clearer view, staring at them blankly. ”Your ship crashed,” she said, her eyes half-lidded and unfocused.
“Yes, can you help us?” Hermione asked pleadingly.
“It rains here a lot,” the girl said, her damp, lank hair covering most of her face.
“Yes…umm…could you give us shelter? Food?” Luke asked as more of the figures emerged from the fog; all of them looked exactly like the first girl.
“Food. Yeah. This is one of the rainiest planets in the solar system.” The girl said in a monotone as she looked up around the thick canopy of trees.
“Umm…” Hermione began, but stopped when she looked up at the tree tops and noticed figures moving through them. ”What’s that?!”
“The vampires,” the girl said flatly, as the vampire scampered up and down the trees, hopping from limb to limb.
“Why are they moving like that?” Luke asked.
“Vampires have all of the same supernatural powers as squirrels,” the girl said, dropping some acorns onto the ground. One of the vampires dropped onto the ground and sniffed at the acorn.
“I’m not like the other kids at school,” Edward said, stuffing nuts into his mouth.
“Edward’s not like the other kids at school,” the girl said, watching Edward putting his nuts into his mouth.
“Luke! I think something about this planet makes you stupid,” Hermione said, watching as each girl that had approached fed acorns to a vampire.
“Hah! So you have discovered the secret of my mystical mist technique!” said an orange figure behind them.
“Naruto!” Luke yelled.
To Be Continued…
